Category: The Things They Say

Those of you have seen “Man vs. Wild” know what I’m talking about. If you have a husband who watches “Man vs. Wild” you have undoubtedly seen him do something to mimic a move of Bear Grylls and wondered what brain synapse misfired to cause your husband to do something like that. I mean does a grown man really need to risk the family jewels like this?

And that, that’s tame for Mr. Bear. I’m afraid to let my boys watch his show, next thing I know they’ll be rounding up the scorpions and cooking them in a frying pan for extra “protein”. Speaking of scorpions, I found a baby one, alive and kicking in the kitchen yesterday just inches away from my barefoot and promptly trapped it in a 1/2 cup measuring cup. I asked my husband to please kill it and take care of it, yet again (note I say again here) he felt the need to “play” with. He shook it up and really ticked it off, “We used to pinch off the tail stinger then drop them on people to scare them as kids”. If he ever does that to me he’ll be pushing up daises. Then he says something like he feels the need to be macho like Bear. Huh? “Yeah when I was 20 I did stuff like that all the time (ie. showing off), but then in my 30’s I didn’t need to do that anymore. Now that I’m a dad and I have two boys I feel the need to be cool again and show them that kind of stuff”. Okay, so I’m summarizing but that was pretty much the gist of that conversation. And he wonders why I have dreams of being attacked by scorpions or snakes taking over our house. He’s like a twisted version of Dr. DoLittle and he’s not allowed to watch anymore “Man vs. Wild”…..